Beth's Spicy Hotdog Relish

Everybody's thinking about turkey leftovers. Me, I'm into hotdogs - all beef, natural casing dogs, no turkey dogs for me thank you.

Paul and I have a few favorite places like Blackie's in Cheshire, CT, Hotdog Heaven in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, Dalla Riva's Hotdog Cart seasonly in Kent, CT, and the Frisbee Market in Kittery, Maine where we make sure to stop when we're in those respective areas.

Some places just offer standard sides - mustard, ketchup, chopped onions, sauerkraut; others have signature relishes or spices. We like things spicy and the relish below was modified from a recipe I found on-line. I've tried it on my friends and most people like it. If you want to add a whole new new dimension to your plain ol' dog— a little spicy with a bit of a crunch give this recipe a try.

Just mix in a bowl and chill; can be stored for up to 10 days in the refrigerator.

Ingredients

¼ cup chopped red onion

¼ cup chopped red bell pepper

¼ cup chopped dill pickle

¼ cup chopped sweet pickles

¼ cup small capers

¼ cup Gulden's mustard

¼ cup prepared horseradish

2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

¼ cup ketchup (optional)

Have you ever been to Kalamazoo?

Written for my son, Hunter, but really for all the little (and big) kids in my life....


Have you ever been to Kalamazoo?
They have the most amazing zoo,
With animals you’d never think
Could live and eat and dance and drink.

They have the Pink Alurahoo
The most popular sight at the zoo.
It’s tall and thin and pink with green
Once thought to be very mean,
Until a Kalazoologist found
They’re extremely shy and don’t like loud sounds.

So to view the Pink Alurahoo
You go in pairs, NEVER more than two,
Then quietly stand behind the wall
And don’t make any noise at all,
Look behind the Loohura tree
And the elusive Alurahoo you will see.

Another creature at the Kalamazoo
Comes from the bogs of Tir Na Nu.
It’s long, and brown with shiny scales
And likes to munch moss and little green snails.
It has big eyes that constantly blink
Unfortunately it sure does stink.
They call this creature the Odiferous Nog
Of The Almost Unknown Tir Na Nu Bog,
An awfully long name for something that smells
And sits around munching on snail shells.

They have the Horsog of Crosby Falls.
Who likes to dance by the light of the moon
On a summer evening toward the end of June.
He looks a little bit like a dog,
with the legs of a horse and the eyes of a hog,
But it’s truly the friendliest little thing
And sometimes when he dances he sings.
So if you are in Kalamazoo in June
You can watch the Horsog dance
By the light of the moon.

I like the Alurahoo and the Odiferous Nog
And I especially like that little Horsog
But I never leave Kalamazoo without going to see
The especially smart Tingtang Turakazee.

He’s a little grey mouse with the softest of fur
That comes from an ancient forest in Kur,
He’s very well read, enjoys Black Pekoe Tea,
Recites rhymes, quotes the sages, and can just talk for ages;
He answers the questions his visitors pose
Usually in song or the nicest of prose.
If you bring him some vegetables and a dumpling or two
He’ll make you an amazing Kurama Stew.
He’s a popular fellow
You must call in advance,
But you must stop to see him if you get the chance.

So next time you’re traveling out with your friends
And you need somewhere to go that you’ve never been,
Take a trip to the spot found in Kalamazoo
You’ll find all kinds of creatures
And have lots of fun too.

Copyright 2005 – all rights reserved

Not plane, nor bird, nor even frog.....

I'm on a cartoon roll now, trying to remember all my favorites. This, obviously was one. So you can sing along if you'd like....

"When criminals in this world appear,
And break the laws that they should fear,
And frighten all who see or hear,
The cry goes up both far and near for
Underdog! Underdog! Underdog! Underdog!
Speed of lightning! Roar of thunder!
Fighting all who rob or plunder!
Underdog! Underdog!"

Daryl's Hot Peppers

This spring my friend Daryl gave me some seeds from a pepper he had wrapped up in tinfoil. He had been to a restaurant for dinner and complimented the chef on the meal and particularly the peppers. Well, the peppers were imported from Italy and he gave Daryl an actual pepper (hence the tinfoil wrapping). Well, Daryl knows I like to grow things and he was very excited at the prospect that he was going to be able to end up with bunches of these delicious peppers. I sprouted the seeds in the windowsill, transplanted them in the garden and they were growing steadily, getting big and green and bushy when I had a Japanese beetle invasion, so I lost a number of the plants. Fortunately I had kept some plants in pots on the porch and I didn’t lose all the pepper plants in the garden, one disaster averted. I watered them, I talked to them, and I picked the bugs off their leaves. At the end of the season I had a fair number of interesting looking, long, multi-colored (some green, some yellow, some orange) peppers to harvest.

The next step was to figure out exactly how to preserve them. I wanted to do Italian style preservation in what I assumed would be just olive oil, but every recipe I found was more towards pickling. I had all kinds of friends and relatives looking high and low for recipes on preserving peppers. Finally I modified one recipe from many. Then I looked at our “harvest” and I worried that if the recipe was bad I’d have no peppers to give Daryl. I assembled all my ingredients on the counter, picked out some jars for packing, got out the pots and pans; then I started getting really nervous, actually I had a panic attack. So I went and rearranged the pantry shelves and drank a couple beers while I was doing that. Then I looked at the pepper plants lined up in front of the windows. I rearranged all my pepper preserving materials on the counter again because they were in the wrong order. I called my girlfriend Suzanne who reviewed the recipe with me and gave me a pep talk. After hanging up the phone I circled the counter a few times and then looked at the clock and decided it was too late to put by peppers. I went to bed.

After a fitful night of tossing and turning and dreaming about all the horrible things that could go wrong, I got up a the crack of dawn, picked a peck of peppers, washed them off in the sink, rearranged all my stuff on the counter and decided to make myself a fortifying cup of tea. After feeding the piggies and circling the counter numerous times I yelled, “F**k It, it’s just damn PEPPERS!”, and I jumped in. I did one small batch and snuck them into Daryl’s fridge when he wasn’t looking. Then I went out for a few cocktails and put the whole experience out of my mind. I figured if Daryl didn’t like them I’d try something different, and if he liked them, well then it was worth all the worrying wasn’t it.

Guess what – he liked them, he really, really liked them. He told Paul (my better half) that they were good and he was looking forward to getting more. Needless to say the recipe has now become my “secret” Daryl’s Hot Peppers recipe. Here’s what it looked like when I put the rest of the peppers up. I saved a few that are drying for the seeds and I’m already looking forward to next year’s crop.